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Post by noah on Mar 6, 2015 20:14:35 GMT
My brother has been talking to a long distance "girlfriend" (who he calls his wife). Although he has never met her, they talk on the phone for hours every day. She has been encouraging him to distance himself from our parents, and has been getting him to believe delusions. One example is that he believes Tom Brady (a famous football player) is going to pick him up to take him to the airport, to fly and visit his "wife."
These situations seem tricky, because we've tried to block her number...but they find a way around it. We are in communication with her father, and he also does not want them to be in communication. I was just curious if anyone else has had similar experiences, and if so what you did to help intervene in the situation. It's a tricky balance of honoring the autonomy/independence of our siblings, while also making sure there aren't people manipulating them. It's hard to explain to my brother as well, since he doesn't seem to notice that she is manipulating him into believing things that aren't true.
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Post by rfurma1 on Mar 17, 2015 15:12:30 GMT
We have had a similar situation with my brother. He was talking to a girl online a from the midwest (I think he met her in an online gaming community) and she inspired him to move out of my parents house into his own place, which was a good thing, but she was going to move in with him. They had never met in person but had skyped. She never came to visit and then she apparently went and got married to someone else and never informed my brother. He noticed when her facebook name changed and her relationship status was married. He went into a deep depression from that for a while and was binge drinking and not himself at all. He just started dating again and thought this new girl was the one but she told him he was "too stiff", meaning he couldn't relax around her (in her opinion). He was pretty upset about that too.
I have been trying to take him out and do "date-friendly" activities to give him ideas and let him get comfortable in new environments where he can't control everything. We went to a Paint Night and he was mad that his painting wasn't "perfect". We are going to keep working on this.
As for trying to help them out of bad relationships, I am lost. My brother figured the one out on his own but I really wish I could have offered guidance to him. It seems like you are trying some good methods such as contacting her relatives and blocking the phone number but maybe try to block social media as well, potentially change his phone number. Its tricky because he doesn't understand their motives and so he isn't seeing things clearly. I'll think some more about other ideas.
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Post by noah on Mar 30, 2015 13:59:48 GMT
Thanks for the insight! It is comforting to know I am not the only one whose sibling gets into unhealthy relationships. It's challenging, because my brother can't understand why a relationship is bad, which makes it seem like we are just being mean by blocking his girlfriend. Luckily, he realized she was a bad influence because she drove him into crisis (he ended up at the airport with 10 trashbags of clothes, because she had convinced him she had a ticket waiting). He now is back to dating the girl he has loved for 6 years...her parents do not want them to be together, which has made it really hard. I tried to get him to move on, and that's how he got into the bad relationship, so for now I'm glad he's with someone who at least isn't a bad influence on him. We'll see where things go - but seriously it's so comforting to know that I'm not alone in the struggle with sibling relationships!
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